A Show To Die For

| Dougal | Well? Where is my bucket? Haven't you found it yet? |
| Brian | What bucket? |
| Dougal | Are you completely incompetent? You said you were looking for it! We'll be going on soon. Are you trying to make a fool of me? |
| Florence | I daresay you won't need any help in that department, Dougal. Leave Brian alone. |
| Brian | Oh the bucket! |
| Florence | Don't you worry about that, Brian. (She turns on Dougal.) Find your own blasted bucket! |
| Dougal | He's a grown man for god's sake. He can stand up for himself. Brian- |
| Florence | Not everyone has an ego the size of a football pitch! |
| Dougal | You'd think that you were his mother rather than Alexandria's. But then you always did have a weakness for young men. |
| Florence | Why don't you just leave, Dougal! I'm sure you must be depriving some village somewhere of it's idiot! |
| Dougal | It's no wonder you're always down the bookie. Trying to win it all back are you? Florence, with you I always have the last laugh. |
| Florence | As they say: he who laughs last thinks slowest. |
| Dougal | How dare you! |
| Florence | Most men are idiots, Dougal but you wear the crown. You've been like this ever since John Devlin came to the village. What's wrong? Afraid that John will steal your limelight, that you won't be the star of the drama group anymore? Well, let me tell you, Dougal that you should have no fears there because you never were the star of the group, only an annoying little growth on the bottom of the am dram barrel. |
| Dougal | I'm not staying here to be insulted like this! |
| Florence | Fine, go somewhere else to be insulted then! |