Festive Reapings Extract

What do you do with a drunken Santa?

NOEL Sausages!
NATALIE Look who’s back in the land of the living.
EVE Are you all right, Noel?
MIKE You had us worried for a moment. We thought we’d have to go on without you.
NOEL Sausages.
EVE Yes, Noel.
NOEL And bacon.
MIKE (To EVE) Shall I?
EVE I think it might be for the best.
NOEL And those teeny weeny, little cute mushrooms. With toast.
MIKE (Leading him off stage right) Yes, Noel.
NOEL And lashings of-
MIKE Custard?
NOEL Baked beans.
MIKE Whatever you say, Noel.

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